it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
