chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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