i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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