you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i drank out of a bidet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
