i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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