It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
