Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize