My nipple is on Facebook.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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