I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
