the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
