I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize