i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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