then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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