At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
