is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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