Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
