why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
