She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
