I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
