I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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