Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
