She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
These tits shall not be calmed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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