i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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