You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
