I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you traded sex for a burrito?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
