i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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