dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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