ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
