so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
