i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Farmville is her only friend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
