WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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