ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i think im in europe. pls send help
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
