she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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