Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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