Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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