period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
