That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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