Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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