I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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