Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
