he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize