that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
