My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
