Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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