Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
