Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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