I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
