Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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