he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
