What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
