I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
