I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
