great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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