I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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