Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize