so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
