Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
