If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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