didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize