Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
