Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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