They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
