For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
