At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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