turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
